Speaking to a room full of parish catechetical leaders from around the Diocese, Father John Hillier, director of the Office of Persons with Disabilities, shared a personal story about his experience as a teenaged volunteer working with children with special needs.
Upon discovering that three of the children in his care had not received all of their sacraments of initiation, he was prompted to visit several local parishes in the area and speak to pastors on behalf of the children regarding their need for sacraments.
After repeatedly being told that these children were not capable of receiving the sacraments, Father Hillier craftily maneuvered his way into speaking to the archbishop in a parking lot about this situation. Eventually a benevolent pastor was found and the children, with Father Hillier’s help as their catechist, received the sacraments at a Mass celebrated by this same archbishop.
“Incredibly,” Father Hillier noted, “so many years later, we are still confronted with the same challenges.”
Father Hillier shared his story Oct. 8 in the St. John Neumann Pastoral Center, Piscataway, during a professional day focused upon catechesis and sacramental preparation for children with special needs.
“Persons with disabilities have the right to prepare for and receive the sacraments and a right to formation geared according to their comprehension level,” stressed Father Hillier, who gave many examples of various situations and potential accommodations that could be made for each. He emphasized that Jesus proclaimed the Gospel to “all people with no bias and no discrimination. Jesus did outreach to those with disabilities and we are all called to be Jesus’ disciples and do the same.”
Father Hillier’s address was followed by an engaging talk by Hammonton, New Jersey, author and blogger, Kelly Mantoan. As the mother of five children, and with her two youngest diagnosed with Spinal Muscular Atrophy in early childhood, Kelly has become an advocate for parents of children with special needs.
Using her own family’s experience of parish life with two teenaged boys in power wheelchairs, Mantoan provided many examples and shared personal insight on the challenges associated with navigating church spaces. In addition, Mantoan discussed a myriad of other examples and challenges experienced in liturgical and social church gatherings by those with many other types of special needs, both visible and invisible.
Mantoan stressed, “The Church has many wonderful teachings about making all forms of liturgy accessible to those with special needs” and emphasized, like Father Hillier, how those with special needs have a right to be catechized and participate in all activities of the Church, liturgical and otherwise.
As the founder of the ministry for Catholic parents of special needs children: “Accepting the Gift,” Mantoan shared her vast knowledge gained through her advocacy work. She related that many parents of special needs children have experienced such difficulties in their parishes that they have left the Church. The stress level in families with special needs children tends to be very high, as is the divorce rate, leading to the increased difficulty of single parenting on top of the challenges of special needs parenting.
Mantoan urged the parish catechetical leaders in attendance to think about the families with children of special needs in their parishes and noted that “just because you don’t see them doesn’t mean that they are not there.” Many do not participate in parish life and many assume that they will run into difficulties even if they make the effort.
She emphasized reaching out to these families and asking them what they need. Mantoan noted that often times accommodations in parishes are made with the best of intentions but are made without involving the families or individuals with special needs to determine what is really required or appropriate, leading to wasted time, energy, and finances.
She also emphasized, “Parishes have so much to gain from the participation of the families with children of special needs. The presence of children and adults with special needs in the parish helps to break down stereotypes and helps to change the mindset about people with special needs. It’s all about souls and we risk losing souls when we neglect those with special needs.”
The event concluded with a presentation by Matt DeCaux, the regional educational consultant for Loyola Press, which included an overview of the many products offered by Loyola Press to aid in catechesis and sacramental preparation for children with special needs.
Jill Kerekes serves as diocesan director for the Office of Discipleship Formation for Children.