Contemplative Elders grow with the blessings of aging, power of community

For the Fourth World Day for Grandparents and the Elderly (celebrated July 28 in most of the Catholic world, and the first weekend after Labor Day in September in the United States), Pope Francis chose a line from Psalm 71 as the theme: “Do not cast me off in my old age” (Psalm 71:9).
 
In announcing this theme, the Vatican observed that it was “meant to call attention to the fact that, sadly, loneliness is the bitter lot in life of many elderly persons, so often the victims of the throwaway culture.” As the Pope noted in his message for the day, “All too often, loneliness is the bleak companion of our lives as elderly persons and grandparents.”

One of the possible remedies for this is for seniors – with the help of the parish – to come together to form groups. Admittedly, this is easier said than done. Pope Francis acknowledged as much in his same message: “Group memberships are in crisis and individualism is celebrated: the passage from ‘us’ to ‘me’ is one of the most evident signs of the times.”
 
But Pope Francis also stated, “We can be certain then, that (God) will be close to us also in old age, all the more, because in the Bible, growing old is a sign of blessing.” In other words, we wouldn’t get to advanced years unless there is some kind of divine meaning in those years. For example: “When you have gray hair you will find wisdom (Sirach 6:18).”
 
So, with the right structure, a group of seniors can feel quite the opposite from feeling “cast off” from God or others. A group can very fruitfully come together unpacking the meaning and the work of the divine in aging, and in so doing can forge or deepen a two-fold fraternity: with God and one another.
 
One such model of a group is a “contemplative elders” group. Both words are instructive. “Contemplative” conveys a sense of spiritual journey, depth and soulfulness. “Elder” implies a wisdom and status that is more than the accumulation of years. These understandings fly in the face of looking at old age as merely decline, uselessness or failure.
 
To attach the word “contemplative” authentically to a group, there ought to be some sort of inclusion in each meeting of a contemplative practice, which means prayer that is fundamentally still, silent and simple. Lectio Divina, the ancient monastic practice of meditatively plunging deeper into Scripture, or other texts, is one such example that is readily accessible to many today. Lectio Divina can be experienced as powerfully communally as individually.

The group can also practice other known Christian forms of meditation, and ideally members will have their own regular personal daily practice.
 
Embracing “elderhood” is really embarking upon a rite of passage, and like most rites of passage, there are stages to the journey. For transitioning into elderhood, we can consider a three-stage dynamic of 1) letting go, 2) dwelling in an in-between, liminal zone, and 3) accepting the new identity. A contemplative elders group can spend a lot of worthwhile time moving through each of these stages.
 
For an elder, there’s so much to let go of: previous roles, regrets, grudges, unresolved issues and more. A healthy practice of grief can be of assistance in gracefully letting go of what must be jettisoned. “Good” grief can teach the wisdom needed to advance to the next stage.
 
In the liminal stage, there is entrance into unknown territory, a move to a personal and spiritual desert that is Lenten-like. Group members can help each other navigate this in-between phase.
 
At the acceptance stage, seniors can flourish in sharing wisdom and in fully accepting and celebrating the new identity of an elder. And they can continue to grow with God with elderhood as their anchor.
 
Ron Pevny, from the Center of Conscious Eldering, has written, “As has been the case for millennia, it is the elders who mentor and initiate the young, champion enduring life-sustaining values, shine as beacons of hope illuminating the darkness of fear, and use their wisdom and compassionate hearts to heal a wounded world.”
 
This inspiring vision of aging is a dramatic contrast from the opening focus on loneliness as the “bleak companion” for seniors. But the blessings of aging and the power of community give all the tools needed to go from loneliness to contributing, contemplative elders.
 
Msgr. Joseph Kerrigan is pastor of St. Joseph Parish, Bound Brook, and a member of the Advisory Council for the Mt. St. Mary House of Prayer in Watchung