Fighting the ‘man crisis’ Hunterdon parishioners gather for conference

To revive interest in the Catholic faith, parishes must be more attractive to men, said Adam Carlisle, diocesan Secretary for the Secretariat for Evangelization and Communication.

Speaking to more than 60 men from 10 parishes in Hunterdon County, Carlisle said the Catholic Church has a “man crisis” and noted that one in three baptized Catholic men have left the faith. He said of those who remain, up to 60% are “casual Catholics,” men who don’t know and don’t practice the faith.

Carlisle hosted a men’s leadership summit – the third in the Diocese in the last two years – at St. Magdalen de Pazzi, Flemington, Oct. 25-26.

“I am hosting these leadership summits because I believe that, now more than ever, our society needs men. Men like you. ...  fathers who might lead their families back to the active life of faith,” Carlisle said.

He added he hoped that by coming together, men “can support one another in the important task of renewing our culture. At a time in our country’s history where we are under attack ... where the very idea of a husband, a father, a man is being questioned, men need to step up. But there is strength in numbers, men. There is strength in Jesus Christ.” 

John Edwards, founder and executive director of Pew Ministries, a Catholic apostolate whose mission is bringing the person of Jesus Christ to the person in the pew, was the event’s featured speaker. Edwards also hosts the podcast “Just a Guy in the Pew.”

Edwards said that, by age 24, he had a wife, children and was the top national salesman for NAPA Auto Parts with a six-figure salary. Grounded in what he described as a “father problem,” he mirrored the alcohol and drug-laced habits of his alleged friends, until his life collapsed. For more than a decade his life and that of his family were pitched into the netherworld of substance abuse, trouble with the law, and all of the personal suffering that caused for himself and his loved ones. 

He said a major turning point came upon his release from jail when he faced his father, a strict no-nonsense Baptist. He expected to get ridiculed, but his father hugged him and told him he loved him. Now 40, Edwards has dedicated his life to working nationally to help men build groups in which they can discover their spiritual identities, enabling them to be better fathers, husbands, and Christian evangelizers in the world. 

During one session, Edwards said all people are given gifts, but often cannot find their purpose until they identify and discover how to apply them.

“Why are we here?” he asked, then answered: “For others.” He cited research that found that 93% of families follow the father’s behavior as part of the need for the conference.

“Men want to be seen, heard, loved, and known, but often end up being ‘silent sufferers,’” he said.

Edwards laid out what he called “The Four Pillars of a Thriving Men’s Group”: formation, worship, service and fellowship, and participants from the various parishes discussed the pillars.

He also stressed practicalities when starting a men’s group and directed men to his website for resources. 

“For example, try to partner with the local chapter of the Knights of Columbus. Approach your pastor for support, but pray and prepare a plan, and ask for suggestions about men who might be good leaders in the parish,” he advised.

Following the final presentation, Dan Amabile, leader of the men’s group at St. Magdalen’s, reported that his men’s group meets weekly, with every other week on Zoom. 

“We’re open to men of all denominations seeking discipleship, not just Catholics. We’re looking for men seeking to develop a relationship with Jesus,” Amabile said.

Representatives of other men’s groups spoke of programs such as Communion breakfasts and a Theology on Tap program.