Offer attentive support, kindness to those who are single

Article 126 - Catechism of the Catholic Church Series
Paragraphs 1655-1658

Have you ever considered the fact that all priests, bishops and consecrated religious men and women first lived as members of the lay faithful, often as teenagers seeking to discern the vocation in life to which God was calling them, before they were ordained or consecrated to God? The Catechism (ccc 1656), quoting from the Second Vatican Council, puts it this way: “It is in the bosom of the family that parents are “by word and example. . .the first heralds of the faith with regard to their children. They should encourage them in the vocation which is proper to each child, fostering with special care any religious vocation” (Lumen Gentium, 11).
The Second Vatican Council calls the family the “ecclesia domestica” or domestic church. “It is here,” the Catechism explains, “that the father of the family, the mother, children, and all members of the family exercise the priesthood of the baptized in a privileged way” (ccc 1657). What is this privileged way? It is “by the reception of the sacraments, prayer and thanksgiving, the witness of a holy life, and self-denial and active charity” (ccc 1657). Thus, the home is the first school of Christian life and it is also “a school for human enrichment” (ccc 1657). It is in the home where one should learn endurance and the joy of work, fraternal love, generous forgiveness and, above all, divine worship in prayer and the offering of one’s life to God. The phrase “priesthood of the baptized” denotes the inner details of what occurred at moment of baptism when each of us was born again “through water and the Holy Spirit” and received new, supernatural life from God. At that moment, we were officially counted among the children of God and set on the path to eternal life with God in heaven.
The Catechism points out that in our world there are “single persons who, because of the particular circumstances in which they have to live – often not of their choosing – are especially close to Jesus’ heart and therefore deserve the special affection and active solicitude of the Church” (ccc 1658). This means that the care and compassion of the Church ought to be directed in a special way toward single persons. In fact, the compassion of priests, and “especially of pastors” (ccc 1658) ought to be directed toward those who remain single. Why? Because we believe that “No one is without a family in this world: the Church is a home and family for everyone, especially those who ‘labor and are heavy laden’” (ccc 1658).
In some parts of the world people remain single “due to conditions of poverty” (ccc 1658). I know from my own conversations with priests and bishops from India that many young girls in their country remain single because they do not have a dowry in order to get married. The same is true of many who grow up in countries throughout Africa.
Of course, like young men and women in the United States, Canada, Britain and elsewhere, “some live their situation in the spirit of the Beatitudes, serving God and neighbor in exemplary fashion” (ccc 1658). I continue to meet countless women and men, young and old, from all parts of the world who live in this manner. With hearts overflowing with generosity, these single people seek only to fulfill God’s Will through lives of love and service. One young woman I know quit her job in the United States so she could go to the Philippines and help the poorest of the poor. I know several others who go to Haiti on a regular basis to help children and young mothers who are poverty stricken. Still other singles I know (among them some widows and widowers) go to the Philippines yearly to serve in a medical mission which includes dental hygiene. One single man I know, who received asylum in the United States in the 1980s as one of the so-called boat people, chooses to use his vacation time each year to travel back to Vietnam to help people who live in the mountains.
Other single people I know give of themselves on a daily basis, serving at soup kitchens, helping at St. Vincent de Paul facilities, and offering their professional and manual labor to the Church as volunteers. We have single people who serve as sacristans, parish office assistants, cantors, liturgical ministers, members of the choir and in various other roles.
We all know single people, some of whom are quite busy working in the vineyard of Jesus. Others keep to themselves or are otherwise alone or lonely. I have spoken with some single people who go to Mass on a regular basis and participate in many parish functions, especially liturgical ones, but, in their words, “receive little or no support or gestures of kindness from other parishioners.”
Seldom do we consider the single life as a vocation. No doubt there are some who make an informed decision, feeling called to the single state by God. Still others, due to a variety of personal reasons, have chosen the single state or it has been chosen for them. Then there are people who become widows or widowers, finding themselves as singles when their spouses pass away.
There are multiple reasons why a person remains single. The challenge before us as members of the Church, is to recognize the reality of the single state and to offer our attentive support and kindness, as much as possible, to those who are single. In addition to our prayers, which are imperative, there are other ways we just might be able to offer our help to a single person, especially an elderly man or woman. Helping to shovel snow, mow the lawn, or make a quick run to the pharmacy or corner store might mean everything to someone who is lonely or otherwise living alone. “No one is without a family in this world” says the Catechism (ccc 1658). You just might be the “family member” most needed by the single person whom God has placed within your sight.
Father Hillier serves as Director of the Office of the Pontifical Mission Societies, Censor Librorum and oversees the Office for Persons with Disabilities