Christmas Mass with the Pope a graced experience for seminarian

In early November, the whole house received an email from Benedictine Father Kurt Belsol who is the coordinator of liturgy at the North American College.  He informed us that the officials at St. Peter’s Basilica had requested 16 servers for the Christmas Mass During the Night with the Holy Father.  A sign-up sheet was posted on the main bulletin board, and when passing by it one day, I decided to jot down my name in one of the empty slots. Just like that, I was on my way to an unforgettable experience.

I grew more and more excited as the day grew closer.  We had a run-through the day before, where I was assigned to be the mitre-bearer for the Holy Father, which meant I would be sitting on his right throughout the Mass!  It may interest you to know that this selection is made based on height … the shorter servers are usually chosen to bear the mitre, crozier, book or microphone, all of whom sit in the vicinity of the Roman Pontiff. The day had finally come when my lack of vertical reach was something to be desired!

We arrived at the basilica in the evening on Christmas Eve, and once we reviewed our responsibilities and vested, we waited to greet the Holy Father. He was wheeled in through a side entrance and greeted all of us individually, sporting a warm smile.  I was thrilled to shake his hand for the second time in five months! I greeted him with a “Buon Natale, Santo Padre!” and then it was time to line up.

The Mass itself was beautiful! I was quite nervous at the outset, as I was very aware of the magnitude of the event, and the vast number of eyes which were trained on the man from whom I was seated just a few yards away. As the liturgy progressed, I began to relax and started to really be able to absorb what was happening.

In front of me, the 90-ton bronze baldacchino of Bernini towered above the Altar of the Confession, under which lie the bones of St. Peter.  I looked up to the soaring heights of the dome, designed by Michaelangelo, which testifies to the great Apostle’s authority with words from Scripture in 6-foot-high font: “TU ES PETRUS ET SUPER HANC PETRAS AEDIFICABO ECCLESIAM MEAM, ET TIBI DABO CLAVES REGNI CAELORUM,” which means, “You are Peter, and on this rock I will build my Church, and I give to you the keys of the kingdom of heaven.” My gaze drifted down to my left, where the successor to Peter was seated in prayer after having received Our Lord in Holy Communion.

I want to take this opportunity to praise God for his infinite goodness. Not much more than three years ago, I was at the lowest point of my life. The outbreak of COVID-19 forced me out of my job, away from my friends, and sent me home with my tail between my legs. I hadn’t attended a Sunday Mass in around six years. Such is the merciful love of our God, who brought me from that point to where I am today, and who for our sake became man, born of a Virgin in a lowly manger, and died for us while we were yet sinners to save us from our sin!  All glory, honor, and praise be to Him, now and forever!

Bruce Cargill is a seminarian of the Diocese currently studying at the North American Pontifical College in Rome.