Father O’Connor strives to ‘be there’ as a priest

Father Charles O’Connor
Celebrating 40 years

“A happy priest is one who really enjoys caring for people, who enjoys serving people,” said Father Charles T. O’Connor, who is celebrating the 40th anniversary of his Ordination.

“The key is to be there when there when they’re hurting, to be there when they are celebrating; to be there when they have questions, not as the answering guy, but as the listening guy; to allow people to pour their heart out to you in the Sacrament of Reconciliation when they have been broken by their own sins,” he explained.

Father O’Connor said he has been the longest serving pastor at St. Joseph Parish, Bound Brook, where he served 23 years (from 1990 until 2013), and St. Cecilia Parish, Monmouth Junction, where he has ministered for the past decade. He helped St. Joseph’s mark its 125th anniversary in 2001 and St. Cecilia’s its centennial in 2015.

“I’ve just loved being a pastor all of these years,” he said. “You don’t become a pastor just because the bishop gave you a letter (appointing you.) You become a pastor by getting to know your parish family, by truly becoming a father to them and a brother to them, teaching them, but also being willing to learn from them, loving them and allowing yourself to be loved by them.”

Father O’Connor said St. Joseph’s parishioners come from about 40 countries, and he tried to speak in each parishioner’s native tongue as they came up for Holy Communion.

The son of a nurse and a police officer, he grew up in Newark and Kearny and attended St. Stephen School, Kearny; St. Benedict Preparatory School, Newark; and St. Peter Preparatory School, Jersey City.

He graduated from the College Seminary at Seton Hall University, South Orange, in 1979 with a bachelor’s degree in philosophy and entered Immaculate Conception Seminary in Darlington where he received a Master of Divinity degree in 1982. He was ordained a transitional deacon and spent a year at Sacred Heart Parish, South Plainfield.

Father O’Connor was ordained a priest in the Cathedral of St. Francis of Assisi, Metuchen, on May 14, 1983. His first assignment was St. Peter the Apostle University and Community Parish, New Brunswick. In 1985, he became a parochial vicar of St. Joseph and associate director of the diocesan Office of Vocations. He has also served as director of the diocesan Office for Hispanic Ministry and secretary to the bishop.

Farther O’Connor studied Canon Law at the Pontifical Gregorian University, Rome, graduating in 1990 with the degree of Licentiate in Canon Law (JCL). Upon his return to the U.S. and appointment as pastor of St. Joseph Parish, he also took up the responsibilities of diocesan secretary for canonical affairs. In September 1998, he was appointed chancellor for the diocese. He returned solely to parish work in June of 2001.

Father O’Connor said the pandemic was by far his biggest challenge of his priesthood; as St. Cecilia Parish did not have streaming capabilities, he used his IPad to prerecord Sunday Mass for his parishioners and spliced in pre-recorded music and readings by liturgical and music ministers.

“I was celebrating Mass in an empty church,” Father O’Connor said.

For those men considering a vocation to the priesthood, he advised them to “check it out to be sure that God is calling you and not that you want be a priest.”

“We need good priests … we need faithful priests that are going to be compassionate, priests that are going to love their flock … that are going to have a shepherd’s heart,” he said.

Father O’Connor’s future goals are to travel to the Holy Land and step back from the administrative duties of the pastorate focusing more upon the spiritual aspects of the priesthood.