“Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us.”

When I meet people throughout our Diocese who read my columns, they often ask if I would write on such and such a topic. One common request is to expound on a theme I had previously written about on forgiveness and the Lord’s Prayer.

Consider the number of times you have you prayed the words of the Lord’s Prayer: “Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us.” Do you really expect God to forgive you in the identical way that you forgive others? Is that sufficient? Is the forgiveness you offer others something less than what you expect from God or is it as perfect as what you expect from God? Is there something less than perfect about your forgiveness toward others? If so, you are not ready to receive God’s “perfect” forgiveness.

It should certainly be our hope that our forgiveness toward others be perfect. Hopefully, it is identical to the forgiveness offered to us by God. Hopefully, we can pray the words and mean them: “Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us.” However, it is likely the case that our forgiveness is not so perfect.

The main points I wish to share pertaining to the petition of the Lord’s Prayer: “Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us,” are from the Catechism (CCC 2840). It states that the gift of God’s “outpouring of mercy cannot penetrate our hearts as long as we have not forgiven those who have trespassed against us.” 

We all know people who feel “unable” to forgive or refuse to forgive. Perhaps you are among them. Some people are “unable” to forgive or refuse to forgive for all the wrong reasons. Some cannot reconcile the deep hurt or betrayal they’ve experienced. Others assume that forgiveness (as in “forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us”) implies that we must resume former friendships that went sour or otherwise spend time with the one who “trespassed against us.” None of this is asked of us in the Lord’s Prayer. In fact, we don’t even have “to like” the person we are called to forgive, certainly not their negative or sinful behavior. In any case, we are not called to like such people, but to love them – to love the person, not their sin or behavior or disposition or immoral deeds; to love the human being made in the image and likeness of God.

The Catechism advises: “We cannot love the God we cannot see if we do not love the brother or sister we do see.” Additionally, “in refusing to forgive our brothers and sisters, our hearts are closed and their hardness makes them impervious to the Father's merciful love; but in confessing our sins, our hearts are opened to His grace.”  

As a priest, I have always found it astonishing that so many people who daily invoke this phrase from the Lord’s Prayer continue to struggle with forgiving others. The condition placed in this prayer by Our Lord, Jesus, is that our trespasses are forgiven by our Heavenly Father ONLY IF we forgive those who “trespass against us.” In other words, God’s forgiveness is conditional! It is predicated on whether we are willing to forgive other human beings who have wronged us!

Paramount in forgiveness is our openness to God’s grace. Left to ourselves, we can do little or nothing. When we place ourselves into God’s hands, all things are possible. Recall the words from Saint Matthew’s Gospel: “Jesus looked at them and said, ‘For human beings this is impossible, but for God all things are possible’” (Matthew 19:26). All is possible when we remain in God’s grace.

What are the ordinary ways to receive God’s abundant grace? Most especially in the sacraments. We receive the forgiveness of our sins first and foremost through the Sacrament of Baptism. When we avail ourselves of God’s grace in the Sacrament of Penance or Holy Confession, we renew our baptismal promises and are positioned back on the path that leads to God. Each time we are properly disposed (not in mortal sin) to receive Our Lord Jesus in the Eucharist (Holy Communion), we are nourished and strengthened by God’s grace to forgive as God forgives and to love as He loves. 

Throughout the New Testament, we see Jesus doing what a teacher does – repeating His teaching! He tells us in the Gospels: “A new Commandment I give to you, that you love one another; even as I have loved you, that you also love one another” (John 13:34); and “Be perfect, as your heavenly Father is perfect” (Matthew 5:48); and “Be merciful, even as your Father is merciful” (Luke 6:36).

All of this points to Jesus’ teaching on forgiveness. The Catechism calls it “the love that loves to the end” (CCC 2843). Everything happens in the heart. We are to love from the depths of our hearts. The Catechism then explains: “It is not in our power not to feel or to forget an offense; but the heart that offers itself to the Holy Spirit turns injury into compassion and purifies the memory in transforming the hurt into intercession” (CCC 2843). This also extends (especially in our prayers) “to the forgiveness of enemies” (CCC 2844). The Catechism further explains: “There is no limit or measure to this essentially divine forgiveness” (CCC 2845). In fact, the Catechism continues, “The communion of the Holy Trinity is the source and criterion of truth [and forgiveness] in every relationship. It is lived out in prayer, above all in the Eucharist” (CCC 2845). 

The next time someone hurts you or commits an offense against you, dig deep and find a way to forgive their offense, especially before you raise your mind and heart in praying the Lord’s Prayer!

Father Hillier serves as diocesan director, Office of Pontifical Mission Societies, the Office for Persons with Disabilities and Censor Luborum.