Forgiveness, for ourselves and of others, is lived out in Eucharist

Article 187 - Catechism of the Catholic Church Series

Paragraphs 2838-2845

We all know people who feel “unable” to forgive or refuse to forgive. Perhaps you are among them. Some people are “unable” to forgive or refuse to forgive for all the wrong reasons. Some cannot reconcile the deep hurt or betrayal they’ve experienced. Others assume that forgiveness (as in “forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us”) implies that we must resume former friendships that went sour or otherwise spend time with the one who “trespassed against us”. None of this is asked of us in the Lord’s Prayer. In fact, we don’t even have “to like” the person we are called to forgive, certainly not their negative or sinful behavior. In any case, we are not called to like such people, but to love them – to love the person, not their sin or behavior or disposition or immoral deeds; to love the human being made in the image and likeness of God.

I once read a story entitled: Don’t Be Like A Wasp. It began by asking: Have you ever studied a wasp up close and personal? Unlike my high school biology classes, nowadays it is much easier to find a photo of a wasp on the internet and to magnify it. Many may be surprised to find that a wasp is in fact a quite attractive creature. The wasp flies most gracefully with its pronounced head, shiny wings and body stripes that are absolutely beautiful. Yet, as attractive as a wasp might be, few people really like wasps because they easily “get angry” and stick us with their sharp, painful stingers.

Similarly, when we become angry, people often try to avoid us as they would avoid the sharp, painful stingers of a wasp. Anger is the feeling we have when someone hurts us or we believe someone has hurt us. It is the feeling we have of wanting to hurt that person back. These feelings of anger are one example of what this portion of the Lord’s Prayer counsels us to avoid – to forgive our trespasses AS we forgive those who trespass against us!

As disciples of Jesus Christ, “we are clothed with the baptismal garment, [but] we do not cease to sin, to turn away from God. …In this new petition, we return to Him like the prodigal son and, like the tax collector, recognize that we are sinners before Him” (CCC 2839). This petition begins with a recognition or confession of our wretchedness and an affirmation of God’s incredible mercy. “Our hope is firm because, in His Son, we have redemption, the forgiveness of sins” (CCC 2839).  The point made by this petition of the Lord’s Prayer is that the gift of God’s “outpouring of mercy cannot penetrate our hearts as long as we have not forgiven those who have trespassed against us” (CCC 2840). The Catechism advises: “we cannot love the God we cannot see if we do not love the brother or sister we do see” (CCC 2840). Additionally, “in refusing to forgive our brothers and sisters, our hearts are closed and their hardness makes them impervious to the Father’s merciful love; but in confessing our sins, our hearts are opened to His grace” (CCC 2840).

As a priest, I have always found it astonishing that so many people who daily invoke this phrase from the Lord’s Prayer continue to struggle with forgiving others. Too often, people miss the requirement that we first must forgive others before God will forgive us. The Catechism explains: “our petition will not be heard unless we have first met a strict requirement…our response must come first, for the two parts are joined by the single word ‘as’” (CCC 2838). In other words, the condition placed in this prayer by Our Lord is that our trespasses are forgiven by our Heavenly Father ONLY IF we forgive those who “trespass against us”. It is a condition! Thus, it is forgiveness, then, that “is the fundamental condition of the reconciliation of the children of God with their Father and of men with one another” (CCC 2844).

Paramount in forgiveness is our openness to God’s grace. Left to ourselves, we can do little or nothing. When we place ourselves into God’s hands, all things are possible. Recall the words from Saint Matthew’s Gospel: “Jesus looked at them and said, ‘For human beings this is impossible, but for God all things are possible’” (Matthew 19:26). All is possible when we remain in God’s grace.

Throughout the New Testament, we see Jesus doing what a teacher does – repeating His teaching! He tells us in the Gospels: “A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another; even as I have loved you, that you also love one another” (John 13:34); and “Be perfect, as your heavenly Father is perfect” (Matthew 5:48); and “Be merciful, even as your Father is merciful” (Luke 6:36). Later, Saint Paul explains in his letter to the Galatians and Philippians that “only the Spirit by whom we live can make ‘ours’ the same mind that was in Christ Jesus” (CCC 2842).

All of this leads to Jesus’ teaching on forgiveness – “the love that loves to the end” (CCC 2843). Everything happens in the heart. We are to love from the depths of our hearts. The Catechism explains: “It is not in our power not to feel or to forget an offense; but the heart that offers itself to the Holy Spirit turns injury into compassion and purifies the memory in transforming the hurt into intercession” (CCC 2843). This also extends (especially in our prayers) “to the forgiveness of enemies” (CCC 2844). The Catechism further explains: “There is no limit or measure to this essentially divine forgiveness” (CCC 2845). In fact, “the communion of the Holy Trinity is the source and criterion of truth [and forgiveness] in every relationship. It is lived out in prayer, above all in the Eucharist” (CCC 2845).

“Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us.”

Father Hillier is director, diocesan Office of Pontifical Mission Societies, the Office for Persons with Disabilities and Censor Luborum.