Mother of son shot to death delivers emotional Good Friday talk

KENDALL PARK — It was a faith witness, filled with emotion and delivered on Good Friday that most who heard will remember. Father Robert G. Lynam, pastor of St. Augustine of Canterbury Parish, invited U.S. District Judge Esther Salas to speak to his parishioners. On July 19, Daniel Salas, the only son of the judge was killed at his home by a gunman posing as a delivery driver.

Judge Salas began her talk saying that with the exception of her son’s funeral, Good Friday was her and her husband’s first day back in St. Augustine’s since their tragedy. Then she said, “I want to take my time and talk about faith, forgiveness and love.”

“I would not be standing here if it was not for my love of God and my faith,” she said. It was faith, she added, that kept her and her husband, Mark, from falling apart when, as she put it, “evil came to our door.”   

Reflecting on the day Daniel was killed, Judge Salas said, “the day started so beautifully and ended so tragically.” With her voice breaking, she recalled how her son thanked his father and her “for the best weekend ever.” They had hosted a birthday celebration for Daniel. It was a weekend that was filled with “love, laughter and joy,” the judge said.

It was the special bond that Judge Salas has with her son that she spoke of next. “In his short life, we talked all the time,” she said, adding “meaningful conversations were not unusual” for them. Through tears, Judge Salas, related how on the day he died, Daniel said, “Keep talking to me mom. I love talking to you.” It was then that the doorbell rang and Daniel, who was in the basement with his mom, ran upstairs to answer the door. Overtaken by emotion, the judge said in a halting voice, “Our life would be changed forever.”

She said when told her son had died, she went “to a dark place.” The first few days after the shooting Judge Salas said she was in a “catatonic state.” Three days after the shooting, however, “I felt a gentle nudge from above. My faith in God woke me up that day and I have continued to rely on his strength ever since.” She said she and her husband did not reject God but embraced Him.

Faith has guided Judge Salas and Mark as they journey in life. Indeed, it was their faith that led them to forgiveness. “Mark forgave the shooter just days after he himself was shot and was struggling to live in the ICU,”  the judge said. She then admitted that at the time, she wasn’t ready to forgive the shooter, but forgiveness would come.

After Mark was released from the hospital, he and the judge found a temporary home. “Going back to our old home was not an option,” Judge Salas said. Every week Father Lynam went to their home to offer Mass for them. At one of the early Masses, in his homily Father Lynam spoke about Jesus and how Jesus had to forgive Peter three times. The judge recalled that it was then holding Mark’s hand that forgiveness came to her. Weeping, she said, “I bowed my head and said, ‘God I forgive him. God I forgive him. God I forgive him.’ And as tears rolled down 

my face I felt the power of forgiveness.

“From the moment I chose to forgive the shooter, Daniel’s killer, I felt lighter. I felt God’s love shining through.” If we let hatred and negative energy stay within us, “it will eat you alive,” said Judge Salas. Forgiveness empowers us, she continued, and through it we begin to truly understand the depths of the love that God has for all of us. By releasing negative thoughts, we open our hearts and our minds to love.

“By choosing to forgive Daniel’s killer, I made a conscious decision to let go of the anger and choose to stay in the light,” the judge said. She revealed that she has not spent a second thinking of the shooter, but spends her time thinking of Daniel and how he loved life and all the people in it.

Judge Salas said love has been the salvation of her and Mark through their nightmare. Then, through tears, she spoke of Good Friday. “Jesus loved us so much that He was willing to die an unspeakable death for us. That’s unconditional love.” She spoke, too, of Mary and how she must have felt accompanying her only Son to His certain death at Calvary. The judge then described seeing her son, dying as he clutched his chest. “I believe I have a better understanding of what Mary must have felt like, however, I don’t pretend to truly understand the sacrifices Jesus and Mary made for our salvation. What I do know they chose love over hate.”

Judge Salas concluded her faith testimony by thanking God, Jesus and Mary for their faith in us, for their forgiveness of our sins, and for the unconditional love they show us each and every day.

Bishop Manuel A. Cruz, Auxiliary Bishop of Newark, presided at St. Augustine’s Good Friday service. Bishop Cruz is the regional bishop of Essex County where the courthouse in which U.S. District Judge Esther Salas serves is located. During the Good Friday service, the bishop also blessed a relic of the True Cross.

Judge Salas’ talk can be heard on St. Augustine’s website: www.staugustinenj.org